This is my first finalist round review for Team 1.21 Gigawatts for SPSFC#5. I’ve already reviewed two of the finalists in earlier rounds, and my team has reviewed all of the finalists. For more information about the team and our progress, please go to the team update page here.

The book is Our Simulated Selves by Nikki Null. The book is available from Amazon.

Blurb

Black Mirror meets The Matrix in Our Simulated Selves, a mind-bending queer sci-fi novel about two people in an inexplicably cozy apocalypse, unaware of the disgruntled programmer controlling their world.

When the pastel punk programmer Jeanne told her coworker she wouldn’t date him if he were the last man on Earth, she hadn’t intended it as a challenge. But he uploaded his brain into a supercomputer to find out if that was true.

The simulated Ren, unknowingly inserted into that ill-conceived dating simulation by his real world counterpart, has unspecified issues he thinks only a brainscanner can diagnose.He conspires with Jeanne to steal a brainscanner from her former employer, but before he can use it, everyone in the world, save for Ren and Jeanne, is abruptly deleted.

In the newly empty world, Ren and Jeanne must work together to survive and to unravel the truth about their baffling new reality. But in order to defy the Controller’s plans for them, Ren must outsmart that alternate self by finally confronting fundamental truths that even the all-powerful Controller could not compute…

My Review

This is a fascinating book with a complex, engaging plot and tremendously interesting characters you grow to care a great deal about. I saw some of the twists coming, but they were still highly rewarding, and there were further developments beyond those that were both absolutely necessary and completely surprising. This book absolutely deserves to be a finalist, and at this point, it is tied for first in my personal ranking of the finalists.

Plot and Characters

There are two main characters we spend a lot of time with in the book – a flawed, unhappy man named Ren, who serves as the POV character nearly all the way through, and a free-spirit punk programmer, Jeanne, who befriends Ren and assists him in his subterfuge. The subterfuge is self-serving but noble; Ren knows there is something deeply wrong with him, but he’s been unable to identify or fix it through traditional treatments. He wants to borrow time on the quantum supercomputer where he works to do a brainscan and run some highly complex simulations to see if he can figure out how to set himself right. Jeanne helps him steal the hardware he needs, and in turn, he gets her a job, bringing them ever more into each other’s life. This scares Ren a little, but he’s also fascinated by Jeanne and develops an awkward crush on her, one that she doesn’t reciprocate, although she seems more than happy to have him as a friend and companion.

From this point, which is established in the early going, things get progressively weirder and more complex. There’s a hidden narrator commenting on the story as it goes, and Ren gradually puts some important pieces together as he navigates the world he’s thrust into. I’ll say no more to avoid spoilers, but the book does a very good job navigating its complexity in believable ways, withholding very little information but still maintaining lots of mystery to unravel.

My Thoughts

This is a book about finding yourself, something Ren desperately wants to do but can’t seem to accomplish. It’s also a bit of love story that plays out in a delightful and unexpected way. It’s also a kick-ass near-future cyberpunkish story of technologies, layers, and realities both real and virtual. And finally, and maybe most importantly, it’s a glorious window on a a voyage of human experience, woven into a journey of self-discovery, with heartbreak, community, damage, loss, and inspiration. I have not read many books like this, but I loved this one, and I probably should read more. It is clear the topics and the characters are pulled from the vibrant heart of the author’s lived experience, and I can only describe this story as a profound and moving gift she gives us, no doubt at significant personal cost. That it comes in the framework of a complicated, sassy, ultra-cool sci fi story only makes it all the more remarkable.

It’s hard to talk about the best parts of the story without spoiling them, so I think I’ll leave those for readers to discover on their own. I will say I got a little confused at times, particularly towards the end of the story, as to how it all worked and fit together, but I was happy enough to let that go and just enjoy the ride.

Summation

This is a great book. The writing style is fresh and fun, the characters damaged and sometimes cringey but hugely entertaining, always believable, and utterly sympathetic. The world created here is familiar but with some interesting speculative departures from our reality. And the mystery (because the book really is an unconventional mystery at heart) is ably and carefully revealed, with each detail painted with a full palette and with love.